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It happened so fast. I walked into the Indigo Bar looking for work. Joel was sitting behind the register drinking a beer. I told him that I was a professional bartender and needed a fucking job.

Joel asked me “Estas seguro que te puedes hacer eso?”.

“Claro que si!” I responded.

“Ok, te vas a empiezar en un hora.” He told me. I was elated, I knew shit was going to get interesting…

The next 9 months transformed me from a regular bartender to an international bartending powerhouse. I literally prepared thousands of drinks (on average 100 a night) and got educated on different cocktails from around the world. I met cool people from Dubai, Brazil, England, France, Argentina, Australia, Canada, Texas, Chicago, Washington, Ica, Lima, and Pisco, Peru. I absorbed something ridiculous from all of them as I got them wasted.

My Co-Workers

I will start with the owners of Indigo. It is run by 2 brothers and their mom. She has the patience of an angel and can put up with all the shit that comes with having a bunch of deranged kids and running a bar. Which I find amazing for her age.

The middle brother is Joel. Joel is the type of nigga that will show you a video of him butt fucking some chick on his phone. And before you have the chance to ask him why he is showing you this he tells you: “It’s in her ass. That’s me.” He is determined to become a porn star and I have seen him proudly show that video to at least 12 people who never asked to see it. He is awesome and I have him to thank for hooking me up with the job.

Then there is Ceasar, he is the serious older brother who is even more tall and crazy than Joel. Ceasar has traveled or lived in Cuba, Brazil, France, Israel, Russia, Thailand, San Franscisco, and most of Europe. He founded Indigo and he is the disgruntled head of the family. He will yell at you and then buy you a drink. But when you get to know him he is a really cool guy who has a bunch of awesome experiences from all over the world.

One night we all left Indigo in the middle of the frenzy of a hundred or more drunk people touring the 10 or so bars and discotecas that are on our street. Susane and I climbed into Caesar’s huge ass truck. It is way too big for our street so he drives half on the sidewalk & half on the pavement. During my tenure at Indigo people had a hayday stealing every part of the truck, piece by piece. This time he was mad because his truck was covered in piss and as we rounded the turn on the sidewalk we saw a drunk guy peeing on another car.

“Borrachos de mierda! In the U.S. you get in a lot of trouble for this, no?” He asked us.

“Hell yeah.” We replied.

“And tambien for having sex in public, no?” He asked, and as we agreed he launched into a huge story about how when he was in San Francisco.

Allegedly he wanted to sell his cellphone before he returned home to Peru. He tried a few stores but they only wanted to give him 20 bucks, so he refused. He was walking down the streets of San Francisco, when he saw a beautiful woman covered in tattoos. He approached her and told her that he need to sell his phone. She was elated, she needed a phone but she didn’t have money to pay for it. Ceasar wanted money, but she suggested another idea…

“Im not paying for a hotel.” Ceasar told her, knowing that the phone was only worth 20 dollars, it would be foolish to pay $100 for a hotel room.

“Come with me…” She replied as she led him in between two parked cars.

They started fucking standing up in broad daylight, but Caesars’ tattooed beauty started to get anxious.

“Give me the phone!” She said as she turned around to glare at him.

“I will finish first!” Ceasar replied as he continued to fuck her. According to his account she kept nagging him for the phone until he finally handed her the phone before he was finished.

“Give me the charger!” She demanded.

“I WILL FINISH FIRST!” Ceasar angrily told the bitch as he kept banging her from the back. This continued back & forth until Ceasar finally finished his back alley lover got her precious charger.
And that’s why we love Ceasar.

My Co-Workers

Over the course of 10 months I worked with countless different people. Cusco attracts wanderers from all over the world. After they spend all their money on drinks & cocaine, many end up living day to day in hostels. These people become the new workforce for Peruvians who need workers willing to bust their ass for 30 soles (9 bucks) a day. This provided me with a steady stream of Argentinans, Colombians & random white chicks to work with. Here are a few of my favorites:

Claudio – Claudio was our waiter from Argentina. He is tall as shit and when he shaves his beard he artfully transforms from looking like Jesus’s drunk cousin to a suave player. Just like he would chug peoples unfinished drinks that they left on the table, he would fuck any girl that wasn’t guarded by a jealous boyfriend.

He was a good guy, he started out punctual and more or less clean. But before long he was drinking any alcoholic drink half finished by customers, bringing his own flask to work, talking 3 inches from girls faces, and dancing like a crack head. Cusco has a way of doing that to people. In the end he did cocaine with a bunch of lesbians, caused a scene in the bar and got fired. He is now in Colombia, and I miss him.

Susane – Susane was a waitress from Washington. She has a heart of gold and has a level of patience that rivals Ghandi and Joel’s mom. She has endured the shit from thousands of drunk people. She has witnessed Toro doing naked handstands and being invited into his store to watch a movie that was really a porno, both of these in front of at least 10 people. She has been forced to take Hulk shots with rowdy lesbians and then chased around the bar by the butch of the group who was wasted and high on cocaine. God bless her.

Melanie – Melanie was a waitress from Canada. She has the energy and attention span of a puppy on crack. She literally sits at every table and has a detailed discussion with every single client. She knows how to dance salsa and has no problem openly harassing Ceasar and randomly dancing with clients. She is one of us and we all accepted her with open arms. I will also miss her too.

These are just a few of the more innocent stories from my time at Indigo. The Indigo bar was my home away from home, and will always be one of the many dysfunctional families that I have been blessed to be a part of.

Shout Outs

Thank you to anyone who worked or drank at the Indigo Bar, taught me a new drink, told me a crazy story from their country, or did something outrageous right in front of me. I am sad to leave Indigo but life is calling me with new opportunities. Thanks to the Indigo Bar I am now a “Capo Barman” and will never forget my experiences bartending there.

Now I have to grab life by the balls and use all the information that I learned to get to the next level.
Fuck yeah,
El Gringo Famoso
4/3/2014

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